Welcome to Ankh-Morpork
From the Ankh-Morpork Merchant's Guild: Wellcome to Ankh-Morpork, Citie of One Thousand Surprises. Where you can wander the folklorique network of old alleys and picturesque streets, where excitement and romans lurkes arounde everry corner and much may be heard the traditional street cries of old time also the laughing visages of the denuzens as they goe about the businesse private.
Hem. Yes. Well. Let's just say that Ankh-Morpork is as full of life as an old cheese on a hot day, as loud as a curse in a cathedral, as bright as an oil slick. as colourful as a bruise and as full of activity, industry, bustle and sheer exuberant busyness as a dead dog on a termite mound. Don't say we didn't warn you.
The luggage appears with another POP! and the requisite flash of light. He's come to an alley that is surprisingly empty and he edges close to the wall and slowly opens his lid.